SuperFunTimes (And More)
by Awsum Grammar Nazi
Summary: This is going to be a collection of drabbles and one-shots based around the pairings from the "Cupid Cartman" series. I suggest reading that first. Superhero AU. Creek. Bunny. Style. Please note that this will be marked as complete because I don't know how many I'll actually be doing.


**Hey guys, just wanted to tie up a loose end here, I may or may not add a Bebe one as well before I give you guys the timeline, author's note and side-stories. This chapter is Mysterion x Professor Chaos and One-Sided Dougie x Butters. It may be a bit depressing, sorry.**

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General Disarray tuned out of his boss' rant as his phone buzzed. It lit up in his hold with a text and went dark before he could read it. He grumbled quietly and unlocked the phone, glancing back up at Professor Chaos to make sure he hadn't noticed. His boss could get pretty pissed off if he wasn't paying attention, then he'd be the one paying for whatever Chaos was mad about this time.

He scowled at the messages as soon as he unlocked it. Since when did _Kenny_ have his number? Not only that, but what the hell was up with these texts?

 _Unknown Number: '…' -6:30pm_

 _Unknown Number: 'Dougie' -6:30pm_

 _Unknown Number: 'It's Kenny'-6:30pm_

 _Unknown Number: 'I need your help' -6:31pm_

 _Unknown Number: 'Please?' -7:41pm_

He typed out a quick reply, addressing all of his problems with this and glanced at Butters again.

 _Dougie: 'Wth is with the spam? How tf did you get my number & why should I help you? -.-'-7:43pm_

The reply came fast, and Dougie didn't even have time to add the contact to his phone before it flashed on his screen. He added it anyways. Kenny was on _his_ time now.

 _Dumb Blonde (Kenny): 'Can we talk?'-7:43pm_

 _Dumb Blonde (Kenny): 'I got ur # from Leo'-7:43pm_

 _Dumb Blonde (Kenny): 'It was a bit after we started dating'-7:44pm_

The ginger sighed and excused himself to the bathroom. This was probably something Butters didn't need to hear. He shot off another text.

 _Dougie: 'Fine'-7:48pm_

Dougie stepped into the bathroom just as the phone started to buzz once again. This time it was a call, and he swiped right to answer it.

"What do you want?" he gritted out. He didn't trust Kenny in the least. They were supposed to be _enemies!_

The sound of a throat clearing awkwardly could be heard on the other end. " _Can you get Butters to watch Bebe's show at 11?"_ The other man finally blurted out.

Dougie's eyes narrowed at his reflection in the mirror. Well, this was extremely suspicious. "What are you going to do?" Part of him hoped the Superhero was going to end their sham of a relationship, so he could have Chaos all to himself. He immediately felt bad. Leo had been his friend since they were kids, all he should want is for him to be happy.

" _Look, don't tell him, but I want to surprise him with something. I promise it's not bad."_ Well, that told him nothing.

"Tell me or I hang up." He threatened. The other man paused on his end. Dougie let his expression fall into a smirk as the blonde finally caved.

" _ **Fine**_ _, but you have to promise not to tell him."_

"I can't promise something like that unless I know what I'm getting into." He told him seriously. The ginger man did not plan on destroying his friend's trust any time soon.

" _...have you ever thought about working solo? Like. Instead of playing sidekick?"_

The question left him baffled. Of course he'd thought about going solo. It just so happened that every time he was about to tell Chaos, the other man would speak first and start one of his rants that Dougie thought were sexy, or tell him how good a job he'd done on their last plan even though they'd ultimately failed, which always made him feel ridiculously warm and sappy. He wanted to branch out and cause chaos of his own, he just didn't have the willpower. Which brought his train of thought back to this asshole. He'd stolen _his_ professor right out from under him. He chose not to respond, and Kenny took that as a 'go on'.

" _What if I told you I could get him to leave you in charge of the entire operation? You could be the most terrifying supervillain around if we pull this off."_

The statement made this officially ten times more suspicious. Was Kenny going to hurt Butters? Or kill him? "What the fuck are you trying to do?!" He hadn't realized he'd said anything until after the words were out. He bit his lip and glared at himself in the mirror once again. Apparently he had no fucking filter when it came to this man.

Kenny paused, he could hear him shift a bit. " _I'm going to ask him to marry me…"_

Dougie's brain stalled. _What? "_ _ **What?!"**_ The ginger nearly screeched. This could not be happening. He'd always assumed that eventually Mysterion would get tired of fucking with his boss' emotions, but he'd never expected this. What if Leo said _yes_? Then he really wouldn't have a chance, right? Why the hell did things like this always happen to him?!

Unaware of his crisis, Kenny continued. " _See, I already have everything in place for it, but you're the only one that can make sure he watches it. Clyde's getting the interview set up now, and I'm sure Bebe is going to agree for the sake of her ratings. Please give me a hand with this Dougie, you_ _ **know**_ _if this doesn't go right, nobody will ever accept our relationship."_

Kenny had finally stopped talking, but Dougie had long since sat down, leaning against a stall door and tugging at his hair. His eyes were wide and distressed. What was he supposed to do? If he got Butters to watch, and he turned the other blonde down, Dougie would be in hot water for being in on the plan. If Butters said yes though, he wouldn't have a chance at all anymore. Then again, he could just not tell the blonde. He could take him out to an early lunch under the pretext of hanging out for once, since it'd been a while. Then Butters wouldn't find out until later, and would be less likely to accept.

Dougie screwed his eyes shut and forced out a breath, fighting the frantic thoughts down. His best friend's, no, his _crush's_ happiness was at stake here. He couldn't be selfish about this! He let out a shaky sigh and picked the phone back up from where he'd dropped it on the tiled bathroom floor. Gross. "Alright… just tell me what you need me to do." He was surprised when his voice came out steady, despite the tears streaming down his cheeks. This was it, time to throw everything away for _his_ sake. Somehow, he'd always known it would come to this. To saying goodbye.

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Dougie was extremely grateful he was a halfway decent actor when 10:40am rolled around. He'd prepared himself mentally as best as he could and turned on the 10am news. Bebe's show was directly after it. The ginger had invited his boss over for brunch, claiming that they hadn't had much time to hang out outside of evil. His apartment happened to be less than a block from the place they recorded the show. It was probably part of the reason Kenny had enlisted him now that he thought about it.

The buzzer sounded and he forced his nerves down as he let Leo in. They talked for a few minutes and ate, Dougie almost forgot what was happening with the sheer nostalgia. It really had been too long. Of course, that was when everything went to shit.

Dougie wasn't surprised as Butters jerk his head to look at the TV the second Mysterion uttered "Professor". He watched his friend latch onto the fact that Mysterion was on one knee, throw his spare costume on from Dougie's closet and bolt out the door. The red-head let out a shaky sigh and let his head drop to the table, finally releasing the tears he'd been holding in since he woke up. Of **course** Butters would ditch him in and instant for _Mysterion_.

Perhaps because he liked to torture himself, he lifted his head and watched the rest of the proposal. He briefly allowed a glimmer of hope when his boss looked upset at being called out. It was quickly squashed when he saw Chaos smile and give in, kissing the other blonde _in front of everyone._ He gripped the table and gritted his teeth to keep from yelling in frustration as the tears kept up their steady stream.

It wasn't until hours later that he'd calmed down. Leo had left a message on his voicemail that said he was sorry about bailing. That had been 4 hours ago. Had he really been out of it for that long? He shot his friend a text so he wouldn't worry.

 _Dougie: 'Hey, sry I didn't answer ur call. It's all good man, I'd have ditched 4 smthn like that 2.'-4:03pm_

 _Beautiful Chaos: 'That's alright. I really am sorry tho, we never get to hang out anymore.'-4:06pm_

 _Dougie: 'No rly, it's cool. Have fun w ur fiance.'-4:07pm_

 _Beautiful Chaos: 'Thanks!'-4:13pm_

Dougie turned off the screen and belatedly wondered if he'd replied too quick. He hoped it wasn't obvious. If Butters was going to go play hero now, then their friendship would already be on thin ice. If he found out about his stupid little crush, it would only get awkward on top of that. He sighed and opened the cupboard under the sink. He needed a drink.

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 **Let me know what you think :)**


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